Give Thanks in All Circumstances

1 Thessalonians 5:18 “Give Thanks In All Circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus”

In the midst of trouble it is difficult to find things to be truly thankful for. In May 2011, we sold our house after having listed it for over three and a-half years. In September 2007, while pregnant with our first child, we decided to sell our home in an attempt to ‘down size’ so we could have a more manageable house payment when the baby arrived. Three weeks after listing our house, the market began to fall. Every time we lowered the price of our home, the market would fall further. Our house was listed for far less than we owed on it and as we approached the 3 year mark, pregnant with our second child, the market began to level. We thought we’d finally be able to sell. Then our neighbors began walking away from their homes! In March 2011 we had two children, a house payment we couldn’t afford and we had maxed out our credit cards over the previous three and a-half years in an attempt to stay afloat.

I prayed and prayed for relief over the years, but I was beginning to lose faith that God cared enough to help in this circumstance. I kept thinking of all of the other suffering that has gone on in much less fortunate areas of the world, knowing that my suffering was nothing compared to other (probably better) Christian parents losing their children to disease or starvation. I began to think that I didn’t deserve God’s help. But, we were desperate, we were failing, and the only reason we hadn’t lost our house was because my parents were paying our mortgage for us. We owed them over $10,000!

Then I heard something on the radio that changed my thinking: Give thanks in all circumstances, find the good things and be TRULY thankful! The only thing I could be truly thankful for was that my parents were in the position, financially, to pay our mortgage for us. I had plenty of other things to be thankful for, but that was the only thing I could find it in my heart to be TRULY thankful for. I began to focus my prayers on being thankful for my parent’s ability to help us rather than asking for relief. Every time I’d begin to cry and despair I’d try and stop to remind myself to be thankful that God had given me parents who were not only willing, but also able to help me! It took two more months to sell our house and this new way of thinking and praying really helped me through the struggle through the unknown territory I was navigating. Although I still cried and often despaired, thankfulness for that one thing was the buoy I could cling to through the storm.

Today, I found these notes on 1 Thessalonians 5:18 which I had written down and placed in my bible long ago. “Rejoice! Despair is a common human struggle. Rejoicing OUT LOUD is much more effective than internal when we are the most depressed or discouraged. One of the signs of being Spirit Filled is THANKS! Don’t forget to say Thank You!”

It is often very difficult to find even one thing we can be thankful for during times of grief or struggle. But, it is important to find something to be truly grateful for and meditate on it! Being thankful gives us hope and hope is something that we require to survive.

Stand Up and Fight Against Germ Spreading Parents!

Dear Mom Who Brought Your Sick Kid to Childcare at Church,

I'd like to thank you for being so considerate of my family. You were kind enough to bring your sick child to play with other children, effectively spreading germs to healthy families throughout the area. My family, for one, is delighted to be congested and hacking up phlegm. We love the forced 'house arrest' being sick has put us under! We're just not as kind as you, so our kids won't be going out to play, sharing our germs with other innocent families who were just going about their healthy routine.

Sincerely,

The Family Nose Wiper (AKA Mommy)

It happens all of the time. You go to pick up your kid from the Kids Club at the gym and there’s a snotty nosed coughing kid playing with your perfectly healthy kid! Or your family is getting together at Grandma’s house and your cousin shows up with her congested kids complaining, “Ugh, these kids just can’t shake this awful cold they’ve got!” Seriously?!?!? What on earth are they thinking?

Last year we went to a 2 year old’s birthday party with our toddler and 1 week old infant. It was a huge task to get there. My husband and daughter were in the bounce house and I was feeding the baby when a mom and daughter walked through the door. “Our whole family is really sick, but she’s really been looking forward to this party, so I told her we’d only come for a little bit. We don’t want to spread too many germs around, she’s been feeling just awful…” If it were my house, I would have sent her and her sick kid straight home!! Of course, they stayed, spread germs, and Roxy caught that cold!

Sometimes I feel like I’m the only parent who’s responsible with my kids’ illnesses. I know I’m extra sensitive because it seems that if there’s a sick child within a 10 mile radius of my daughter, she’s going to catch it. We’ve taken her to the doctor and discovered that her allergies affect how susceptible she is to catching colds, so we have to be extra careful with her exposure to sick kids. I really count on other parents to be responsible with their kids so that my child can stay healthy.

My church is very clear about their policy on sick kids in their childcare areas. I really appreciate their vigilance on upholding their policy. However, last week a kid slipped through the cracks! After bible study when I picked up Roxy, there was a coughing kid with snot running down her face whining that she wanted her mommy! Straight away they assured me that her mother said she’s not contagious and that she’s been on antibiotics for 10 days. (But, antibiotics don’t work for a cold, which is what this looked like to me!) The next day, we went to church again and this kid was back! 48 hours later I’ve got a sick kid… AGAIN!

Now we’ve got a rainy weekend, I’m stuck in the house with two sick kids. I’m tired because I’m up with them in the middle of the night. They’re grumpy. We can’t play outside in the rain. I can’t go to the gym because they can’t go to the Kid’s Club. I can’t take them to play anywhere, they’d spread germs. We can’t even go to church!

Aside from my cousin, every parent I know personally is responsible when their kids are sick and they keep them away from other kids. It’s the thousands of parents I DON’T know who seem to be the uncaring, germ spreading, selfish parents! How do we fix this? Can we raise awareness? Create a ‘Cause’? What recourse is there for frustrated parents like me???

ZUMBA!

I love Zumba! I want to go to Zumba class everyday! I want to have people over and Zumba with my friends! I want to have Zumba parties! I want to become a Zumba instructor and hold Zumba classes in my garage (if ever I get a real house that has a garage)! I want Roxy to Zumba with me in her toddler dance style!

Some of the Zumba instructors at 24 Hour Fitness are great, but others aren’t fabulous. Of course the classes with the fabulous instructors are super full and its nearly impossible to get a spot. There ia a Zumba DVD set! I wanna order it! I’d like to get a group of people together and Zumba on a regular basis! I found classes on the Zumba Fitness website to become a certified instructor… only $250… and mostly sold out! But I wanna do it!

Have I mentioned that I love Zumba?

To the Girl Who Was Nice to Me Today: THANK YOU

As a customer I rarely stand up for myself, for the sole reason that I want to set a good example for my children, who always seem to be with me when conflict arises. I am shocked at the number of parents I see pitching a huge fit, yelling and cursing at ‘the guy behind the counter’ as their kids stand by and hear every word! We spend so much time trying to keep our children’s out of control emotional outbursts in check and yet we fail to notice our own adult temper-tantrums raising their ugly heads!

This morning as soon as Jack woke up from his morning nap I packed the kids in the car and headed to the 24 Hour Fitness in Vista to take a Zumba class. The class began at 11:30 and I shuffled through the gym door, with my kids dangling from my hips at 11:18. I had my membership card and the $6 for childcare ready as I asked the girl behind the counter for a pass for the Zumba class. “Aw, its full already. But you can be #7 on the waiting list if you want. There are 10 people on the regular list who haven’t picked up their passes yet, so you’ve got a good shot at getting in.”

I accept my #7 waitlist spot and take the kids to the ‘Kids Club’. Of course there’s only one person in line in front of me, but it takes her over 5 minutes to check in her son, who looks like he’s about 10 and the last place he wants to be is in the ‘Kids Club’. As soon as I walk in the attendants (‘childcare workers’) rudely tell me that I have to wait outside the door, “Only one family in here at a time, Ma’am…” I had no idea this was their policy, its not the policy at my club. As I turn around I let her know that I am on the waiting list for a class and that I need to be out at the front desk at 11:30 and she assures me there will be plenty of time.

At 11:28 on the ‘Kids Club’ clock I finally have the kids checked in and I make a mad dash for the lobby! I see all of these people with little red passes… “I’m on the wait list for the Zumba class” I tell the girl (who put me on the wait list only 8 minutes before).

She dismissively says, “Sorry, its full. I called all of the names at 11:30 and you weren’t here, so I had to move on.”

I try to calmly reason with her, telling her that I had to check in the kids, there was a long wait, I was assured I’d be out here in time to hear my name, the clock in the ‘Kids Club’ says I have 2 minutes… She doesn’t care & turns away to help someone else. I try to further appeal my case to the other girl behind the counter, pointing out that I came early, I drove from Escondido, I just paid $6 to have them watch my kids and I’m not going to find something else to do because I came for the sole purpose to take this class… She walks away from me!

The first girl comes back and says, “Can I help you?”, As if she’d never seen me before.

THAT’S IT! My kids aren’t with me right now… so here I go. Years of being a frustrated consumer are coming out! “Listen! I drove from Escondido, I paid 6 bucks to have you watch my kids and the only reason I came all the way out here is because I want to take this damn class!!!” (Yep, I broke out the word damn… and I used it with great force.)

“Hey!” I hear coming from behind me. Since I had my Angry Tunnel Vision turned on, I have no idea if she’d been trying to get my attention before now. “You can have mine.”

“Thank you”, I bark back. Then I pause for a moment, trying to soften up, turn back and again I say, “Thank you”

You’d think I felt good about this, I won. I got what I wanted. But I felt horrible. I guess three years of walking away from conflict to set a good example for my kids actually changed something in me. I spent the first 20 minutes of the class thinking what a jerk I was. Yes, the staff was rude. Yes, I still think I had a valid point. But I had gotten so angry that a fellow club member felt the need to step in and help. (OUCH)

And to top it off, what had I gotten angry about? Was I mad that there are political leaders in other countries that oppress their people? Nope. Was I furious about child labor in Third World countries? Nope. I was angry that I had been inconvenienced and I didn’t get into the class that I wanted to take at my HEALTH CLUB! I should be grateful that I’m even able to GO to the gym! I’m positive that the people living in the Shanty Towns of India are not concerned one bit about the gym! I don’t think the people of Egypt are worried about the gym! And I certainly don’t think kids working in sweat shops are worried about the gym!

I realized today (again) that I’m not as nice as I think I am, I still have a bad temper and I need to look at my priorities a little bit more closely. I am humbled.

Christian in a Dilemma

Nothing bothers me more than when you give someone the opportunity to be honest with you and they don’t take it! You nervously dial the phone, hoping you’ll get their voicemail so you can postpone this awkward conversation just a little bit longer. The line rings and rings, your heart is racing. Just when you start to think that you just may get your Voicemail Wish they answer the phone… breathe deeply… here goes…

“Hey… so, really I’m just calling to check up with you. See, I sent you that email last week and I haven’t heard back… so… I just wanted to call to check in and see what you’re thoughts are…” (When what you really want to say is, “Look, I know you got my email and you didn’t respond because you’re avoiding me but we’re both adults here so why don’t you just take this opportunity to grow a pair and tell me what’s really going on because I’d like a solid answer so that I can either cut my losses and move on or fix whatever needs to be fixed!”)

Of course you get the syrupy sweet, candy coated answer somewhere along the lines of, “Oh, I was meaning to get back to you… You know, you’ll always be part of our little family here, the timing’s just not good right now, but as soon as something comes up, I’ll let you know!”

Of course you know you’re being lied to, but you also know that you have to wait a while to catch them in the lie. A tiny part of you hopes you’re wrong about the whole thing… but, sure enough, in the next few days or weeks you discover you’ve been right. And to make matters worse, you gave them the perfect opportunity to tell you the truth instead of leading you into false hope.

As you can guess, I have recently experienced this situation. I’ve been starting to have insomnia just thinking about what to say next and how to go about saying it. I need closure. I have been really hurt by someone who said I was part of ‘The Family’. I want to know what’s really going on. I want to know what great injury I have caused this person that would make them be this way with me. (I do, however, know that this person is irrational, hot tempered and passive aggressive. So the only way to get to the bottom of this is to directly confront and I can’t back down… no more Ms. Nice Guy!)

I've been doing a lot of praying about it this week. I was planning my confrontation call. I was praying for God to give me the right words to say. I knew I’d have to lead in non-confrontationally, get the fake’ sugar coated answer and then confront! So I did what any Christian in a dilemma would do, I prayed about it. If I was going to get any sleep I was going to just have to trust God to give me the right words. I asked that He would just let the Holy Spirit fill me and guide me through what to say... I'd be WAY more effective that way!!!
Well, I wasn’t getting any epiphanies so I waited a little longer, still struggling. Then, through my bible study and prayer this week I got a very clear answer: Do nothing! (I couldn’t believe it at first!)
I realized that it is for selfish reasons that I want to get to the bottom of this. Yes, it’s to get some kind of closure from the hurt that I feel, that’s reasonable. But, honestly there won't be any closure if I talk to this person. I know this already. So, what I'd really be doing is talking to this person so that they'd know that I know that they’re making a point of not having me back and that they're just blowing smoke when they say I'm still part of 'The Family'. Well, I'm pretty sure that THAT'S not one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit! (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control)
Basically, this is the long way of saying that a lot of times the answer to my prayers aren’t what I would expect and surely they are not always what I want them to be. I am so greatful that God answered this prayer in an unexpected way. I am 'Letting go and letting God'… Which, for me is often VERY difficult to do! But, it means that I am once again able to sleep!

Human Solar Panel

We inherit a lot of things from our parents! My grandfather was a work-a-holic, the man needed to be busy every day of his life. As my mother grew up, he worked 7 days a week whether he needed to or not. In his last years he busied himself growing a garden and tending it rain or shine just to keep himself active. My mom inherited this trait from him and I’ve inherited it from her. I’ve known this for years, if I’m not busy I just don’t know what to do with myself.

Recently I’ve discovered something else I’ve inherited from my mom. It really has no label, I can only describe the behavior. Growing up, there was a certain feeling to my house during the spring and summer months! My mom all of the sudden had a burst of energy! She’d have the radio on, cleaning the house with all of the windows and doors open, letting all of the fresh air and soft breezes fill our house. She’d have us playing outside, make us lunches and she, all of the sudden, had energy and motivation. Not to say she was awful and dreary during the colder months, but there was a switch that seemed to be flipped during the warmer months. In the spring and summer my mom blossomed like a flower! As a kid, I loved those times!

I have always said that I’m like a solar panel, I need the sun for energy! In my younger days, if I needed a quick pick-me-up in between school and working, I’d go to the beach and take a quick cat nap on a beach towel in the sun. As I get older I notice that I have seasons of energy. The spring and summer are my times of year. It is only recently that I’ve realized that my mom is the same way!

As the days begin to warm, I feel myself coming out of my mental hibernation. All of the sudden I’m motivated to volunteer at church, take the kids out to play, clean my house, get exercising and tend to other chores that have been forgotten during the low energy winter months! But, why is this? Do others do the same thing? Can I get out of this rut?

Hmmmm…

The Perfect Afternoon

I’m pretty sure we all have nostalgic memories from our childhood, a time we remember as PERFECT! A time we wish we could return to again and again for happiness and comfort.

My perfect happy childhood memory was the feeling of my house during the spring and summer months! My mom all of the sudden had a burst of energy! She’d have the radio on, cleaning the house with all of the windows and doors open, letting all of the fresh air and soft breezes fill our house. She’d have us playing outside, make us lunch and there was a certain positive energy that filled the house. When we were younger, she’d let us take naps on their big bed in the master bedroom with the window open and the ceiling fan spinning above us. She’d often tell me, “You don’t have to go to sleep, but you do have to lay down and rest”… A line I often use on Roxy.

I wasn’t to the age yet where wished I were grown-up already, but I was old enough to have crystal clear memories. Well, today is a super lucky day for me! Somehow I have recreated my favorite childhood feelings in my own, grown-up house! The weather is warm, I’ve been on a walk with the kids, I have the radio set to KyXy 96.5FM, listening to mostly nostalgic music, the doors and windows are open, natural light is flooding the house, the kids are napping and I’ve just finished cleaning both of the bathrooms. It may not sound like much. But to me, I’ve somehow recreated my idea of the perfect house/perfect mommy!

It may be only one perfect afternoon this week. But it could turn into two perfect afternoons next week and even three perfect afternoons next month. This is looking to be a fantastic Spring and Summer!