To the Girl Who Was Nice to Me Today: THANK YOU

As a customer I rarely stand up for myself, for the sole reason that I want to set a good example for my children, who always seem to be with me when conflict arises. I am shocked at the number of parents I see pitching a huge fit, yelling and cursing at ‘the guy behind the counter’ as their kids stand by and hear every word! We spend so much time trying to keep our children’s out of control emotional outbursts in check and yet we fail to notice our own adult temper-tantrums raising their ugly heads!

This morning as soon as Jack woke up from his morning nap I packed the kids in the car and headed to the 24 Hour Fitness in Vista to take a Zumba class. The class began at 11:30 and I shuffled through the gym door, with my kids dangling from my hips at 11:18. I had my membership card and the $6 for childcare ready as I asked the girl behind the counter for a pass for the Zumba class. “Aw, its full already. But you can be #7 on the waiting list if you want. There are 10 people on the regular list who haven’t picked up their passes yet, so you’ve got a good shot at getting in.”

I accept my #7 waitlist spot and take the kids to the ‘Kids Club’. Of course there’s only one person in line in front of me, but it takes her over 5 minutes to check in her son, who looks like he’s about 10 and the last place he wants to be is in the ‘Kids Club’. As soon as I walk in the attendants (‘childcare workers’) rudely tell me that I have to wait outside the door, “Only one family in here at a time, Ma’am…” I had no idea this was their policy, its not the policy at my club. As I turn around I let her know that I am on the waiting list for a class and that I need to be out at the front desk at 11:30 and she assures me there will be plenty of time.

At 11:28 on the ‘Kids Club’ clock I finally have the kids checked in and I make a mad dash for the lobby! I see all of these people with little red passes… “I’m on the wait list for the Zumba class” I tell the girl (who put me on the wait list only 8 minutes before).

She dismissively says, “Sorry, its full. I called all of the names at 11:30 and you weren’t here, so I had to move on.”

I try to calmly reason with her, telling her that I had to check in the kids, there was a long wait, I was assured I’d be out here in time to hear my name, the clock in the ‘Kids Club’ says I have 2 minutes… She doesn’t care & turns away to help someone else. I try to further appeal my case to the other girl behind the counter, pointing out that I came early, I drove from Escondido, I just paid $6 to have them watch my kids and I’m not going to find something else to do because I came for the sole purpose to take this class… She walks away from me!

The first girl comes back and says, “Can I help you?”, As if she’d never seen me before.

THAT’S IT! My kids aren’t with me right now… so here I go. Years of being a frustrated consumer are coming out! “Listen! I drove from Escondido, I paid 6 bucks to have you watch my kids and the only reason I came all the way out here is because I want to take this damn class!!!” (Yep, I broke out the word damn… and I used it with great force.)

“Hey!” I hear coming from behind me. Since I had my Angry Tunnel Vision turned on, I have no idea if she’d been trying to get my attention before now. “You can have mine.”

“Thank you”, I bark back. Then I pause for a moment, trying to soften up, turn back and again I say, “Thank you”

You’d think I felt good about this, I won. I got what I wanted. But I felt horrible. I guess three years of walking away from conflict to set a good example for my kids actually changed something in me. I spent the first 20 minutes of the class thinking what a jerk I was. Yes, the staff was rude. Yes, I still think I had a valid point. But I had gotten so angry that a fellow club member felt the need to step in and help. (OUCH)

And to top it off, what had I gotten angry about? Was I mad that there are political leaders in other countries that oppress their people? Nope. Was I furious about child labor in Third World countries? Nope. I was angry that I had been inconvenienced and I didn’t get into the class that I wanted to take at my HEALTH CLUB! I should be grateful that I’m even able to GO to the gym! I’m positive that the people living in the Shanty Towns of India are not concerned one bit about the gym! I don’t think the people of Egypt are worried about the gym! And I certainly don’t think kids working in sweat shops are worried about the gym!

I realized today (again) that I’m not as nice as I think I am, I still have a bad temper and I need to look at my priorities a little bit more closely. I am humbled.