Christian in a Dilemma

Nothing bothers me more than when you give someone the opportunity to be honest with you and they don’t take it! You nervously dial the phone, hoping you’ll get their voicemail so you can postpone this awkward conversation just a little bit longer. The line rings and rings, your heart is racing. Just when you start to think that you just may get your Voicemail Wish they answer the phone… breathe deeply… here goes…

“Hey… so, really I’m just calling to check up with you. See, I sent you that email last week and I haven’t heard back… so… I just wanted to call to check in and see what you’re thoughts are…” (When what you really want to say is, “Look, I know you got my email and you didn’t respond because you’re avoiding me but we’re both adults here so why don’t you just take this opportunity to grow a pair and tell me what’s really going on because I’d like a solid answer so that I can either cut my losses and move on or fix whatever needs to be fixed!”)

Of course you get the syrupy sweet, candy coated answer somewhere along the lines of, “Oh, I was meaning to get back to you… You know, you’ll always be part of our little family here, the timing’s just not good right now, but as soon as something comes up, I’ll let you know!”

Of course you know you’re being lied to, but you also know that you have to wait a while to catch them in the lie. A tiny part of you hopes you’re wrong about the whole thing… but, sure enough, in the next few days or weeks you discover you’ve been right. And to make matters worse, you gave them the perfect opportunity to tell you the truth instead of leading you into false hope.

As you can guess, I have recently experienced this situation. I’ve been starting to have insomnia just thinking about what to say next and how to go about saying it. I need closure. I have been really hurt by someone who said I was part of ‘The Family’. I want to know what’s really going on. I want to know what great injury I have caused this person that would make them be this way with me. (I do, however, know that this person is irrational, hot tempered and passive aggressive. So the only way to get to the bottom of this is to directly confront and I can’t back down… no more Ms. Nice Guy!)

I've been doing a lot of praying about it this week. I was planning my confrontation call. I was praying for God to give me the right words to say. I knew I’d have to lead in non-confrontationally, get the fake’ sugar coated answer and then confront! So I did what any Christian in a dilemma would do, I prayed about it. If I was going to get any sleep I was going to just have to trust God to give me the right words. I asked that He would just let the Holy Spirit fill me and guide me through what to say... I'd be WAY more effective that way!!!
Well, I wasn’t getting any epiphanies so I waited a little longer, still struggling. Then, through my bible study and prayer this week I got a very clear answer: Do nothing! (I couldn’t believe it at first!)
I realized that it is for selfish reasons that I want to get to the bottom of this. Yes, it’s to get some kind of closure from the hurt that I feel, that’s reasonable. But, honestly there won't be any closure if I talk to this person. I know this already. So, what I'd really be doing is talking to this person so that they'd know that I know that they’re making a point of not having me back and that they're just blowing smoke when they say I'm still part of 'The Family'. Well, I'm pretty sure that THAT'S not one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit! (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control)
Basically, this is the long way of saying that a lot of times the answer to my prayers aren’t what I would expect and surely they are not always what I want them to be. I am so greatful that God answered this prayer in an unexpected way. I am 'Letting go and letting God'… Which, for me is often VERY difficult to do! But, it means that I am once again able to sleep!